Frustrating day

So today marks the 35th week of our pregnancy. Well, I guess technically we are 35 wks and 2 days by the doctor's estimation. I'll take those extra 2 days, that's fine, that means Cupcake will arrive sooner! But unfortunately, after today's OB appt...Cupcake won't arrive as soon as I had hoped.
I'll start at the beginning. This morning I had another NST. This was the first NST that Edward attended with me. So he had many questions about the machine the nurses use for the NST, and what the readings/print outs from the machine meant. I had a feeling Cupcake was going to be difficult this morning during the NST, and sure enough, I was right. I felt that way because the baby was extremely active this morning from the moment I woke up until the moment I pulled into the parking lot at the hospital. That means the baby was active for over 1 and a half hours straight, and the baby usually doesn't stay awake quite that long. So sure enough, the moment I sit down in the recliner chair at my NST appt, the baby passes out! I always have a bottle of cold water with me, so I started drinking that right away to wake the baby up. That wasn't working well, so then the nurse brought out a cold Sierra Mist soda for me to drink. The baby still wasn't very awake at this point. My poor little one was so tuckered out from all the early morning activity, I'm sure he/she was really annoyed that we kept bothering him/her!! The only thing that was awake was my bladder, which was terribly full by this point with all the fluids I drank to try and wake the baby! The nurse tried to jiggle my belly around a bit to wake the baby, but that was met with little success. So then the nurse brought out the big guns. She used a loud buzzer gadget to wake the baby by putting it up to my belly and making it buzz for several seconds. Well that sure did the trick! After that the baby was awake and moving around enough for the nurse to be satisfied with the changes in the baby's heart rate.
Our next stop this morning was at my OB's office for my pre-natal check up. Luckily, his office is basically right next door to the hospital, so that was very convenient. Right when Dr. Burman walked into the exam room he announced that he has booked my induction for 12/21. Okay, so obviously this upsets me. That means I will have to carry Cupcake to 39 wks. Dr. Burman had always said he will induce me at 38 wks. Then last appt he said 38-39 wks. And now, 39 wks, and no earlier! What the heck?!! He said he tried to go earlier, but CA, and the rest of the country, are really cracking down. They are highly discouraging any planned inductions and c-sections prior to 39 wks. The baby's lungs are still maturing up until the end of the 3rd trimester, and the baby benefits from each additional day he/she spends in my womb. I know this, and I understand this. However, after losing Avalon so late in my pregnancy, I feel like the longer Cupcake stays in my womb, the greater the chances of something going wrong. Let's put it this way...I'd rather have a live baby that maybe has to spend 1-2 days in the NICU versus losing another full term baby.
I was very clear with the doctor today that I CANNOT lose another baby, and that I HAVE to go home with a live baby this time. I was in tears, and I know he could clearly see how worried, anxious and scared I am about something happening to this baby. I know my pregnancy with Cupcake has been very smooth and uneventful, and there is no reason to believe that will change. However, my pregnancy with Avalon was also completely smooth and uneventful...and look what happened. God called her home far too early. I expressed my concerns about doing an induction. From what I know and what I have read, if you have an induction, you run a higher risk of needing a c-section. Inducing labor is not natural, and if my cervix is not ripened by the time they induce, that really won't help the process. So I figure, let's just skip the induction and go straight to the c-section. Because I'm high risk, and because I am going to freak out the moment the baby gets distressed at all during labor, I am anticipating I'll most likely end up with a c-section anyways. I would hate to have to go through the induction process and put the baby through the stress of labor to then end up in the OR anyways! Dr. Burman said that because I had a successful vaginal birth with Avalon, I have a greater chance of having a successful induction. I made sure he knows I'm not one of those women that wants a c-section because I'm afraid of the pain, or because I want to go the "easy" route. My first concern is my child, and making sure Cupcake is safe and arrives alive and healthy. Dr. Burman said that there is always the chance I will go into labor before the 12/21 induction date, and if that happens, we'll go with that (and this is what I will be praying and hoping for). And he also acknowledged that depending on how Cupcake is doing, and depending on my physical, emotional and psychological status, we may just end up doing a c-section. But for now we have to proceed with a planned induction, and then will re-address that as needed depending on how the next few weeks go. He did check my cervix and he confirmed my cervix is still completely closed and Cupcake's head is still pretty high up. But that's expected considering I am 35 wks along. He also performed an ultrasound to check on the baby's growth and my fluid levels. Baby's growth is normal and he has no concerns about that. In fact, he said that based on Cupcake's stomach size, he is expecting this baby to be a "chunky monkey". While I do expect Cupcake to weigh more than the 6 lbs that Avalon weighed, I am still not expecting a big baby. I highly doubt this baby will weigh more than 8 lbs. I only weighed 6 lbs 4 oz when I was born, and Edward was just over 7 lbs when he was born. So I figure that between the 2 of us, we will not make huge babies. I go back to Dr. Burman in 1 wk for my next check up. My appts are every week now. And my NST's are still twice a week until I deliver. I'll miss my NST on Friday because we'll be in the Bay Area for Thanksgiving, and I'm a little anxious about that. But I am looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving with our families, and I'm looking forward to picking out our Christmas tree later this weekend!!


Cupcake's head measurement! Dr. Burman said that Cupcake's head was measuring inline with my due date, so I'm glad about that.


Cupcake's stomach! Dr. Burman said that Cupcake's stomach/abdomen is measuring large at this point, so he is expecting a very healthy weight for this baby.


Little charts marking Cupcake's growth. The top left chart is Cupcake's head growth (normal), the top right chart is Cupcake's femur growth (on the small side), and the bottom left is Cupcake's stomach growth (large for 35 wks). So what we figure is that overall, the baby's growth is normal and fine...and Cupcake will have stubby legs, just like his/her mommy!


Tonight's gorgeous sunset, taken from my bedroom window! Beautiful moments like this let me know my Avalon in Heaven is watching over us and her little brother/sister.